TIPS FOR DADS-TO-BE
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Having a baby will change your life ! It is a joyous time, but you may also be asking yourself a lot of questions: Can we afford it ? Are we ready ? Will I bond with my baby ?
If you plan to attend the birth (and around 93% of fathers do), it is a very good idea to find out what is in store. Antenatal classes will prepare you for the big day, and also give you a chance to take a little time to think about your partner and baby away from your busy daily life.
There are different sorts of classes available, so think about what you would like to achieve, how much time you have, and how comfortable you feel about participating. Most NHS hospitals with birth units run free antenatal classes, or the National Childbirth Trust runs paid courses across the UK, which are good places to meet other Dads-to-be locally.
If your partner has made a birth plan, it is important that you familiarise yourself with it, as part of your role is to act as an advocate for her if she is unable to make her views known. She will also need lots of physical and emotional support, reassurance and someone to explain to her what is happening.
Studies show that levels of oxytocin (often called the ‘love’ hormone) increase in men during their partner’s pregnancy and even more so if they attend the birth. Oxytocin encourages a father to be closely involved in the care of his child. Other hormones found at higher levels in men around the time of birth, such as vasopressin and prolactin, bring out bonding and protective instincts.
Some dads worry that they will feel jealous and left out of the bonding process that is going on with mother and baby – but there is no need. Feeding a baby is by no means the only way to bond. There are lots of other things you can do: change, bath and rock your baby, place him on your bare chest for skin to skin contact, give him a massage, or buy a sling and take him out to a friend's house, or for a walk, to give mum a rest.
And if your responsibilities include changing, remember that babies who are breastfed have much less smelly nappies ...
Further information and reading:
Becoming a Father: How to Nurture and Enjoy your Family William Sears
www.fatherhoodinstitute.org
